My Grammy
5 years ago
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Calling all moms!! I NEED HELP!
Moms out there....I need help! Asher is 4 years old now and we still are having major accidents! Not only does he wet the bed every night, which I can't get to upset about I realize alot of kids do, but he will just have random accidents just because! #2 not excluded! I ask him why and now is response is because I'm being mean. I don't want him to think that it is being mean when he does this but I don't know how to get through to him. I know they say to not get mad when they do but it is so stinking hard not to. He will just do it in random places, at random times. Now I am being told from his teacher that on occasions if he gets mad at her he does it just to upset her more!He wont even where the overnight pullups because they are so much like diapers and he freaks out when I talk to him about wearing diapers again so I know he doesn't want that. I NEED HELP!!! Is there any advice up there before I lose it???
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9 comments:
Bridger is 4 too, and having the same problem. I talked to my doctor about it because I was getting really frustrated too. He said that 1 in every 4 boys still wet's the bed at the age of 8. It's perfectly normal. He said most of them do outgrow it, and they are usually really deep sleepers (which Bridge is) and don't even realize they have to go. We try not to let him drink before bed and I DO make him wear a pull-up, but they have one's now that look like boxers. Maybe you can talk him into wearing one of those? I hoped this helped?!?
goodness. I have no advise because I obviously havent crossed that bridge yet with McCoy, but sister....I will dont worry. I dont know what to tell you except this......and it may not be the right answer.
My sister's little boy was doign the same dang thing...pooping and peeing randomly in his underwear through out the day. My sister honest to hell had to just wack him a new on and say, "NO MORE!" You dont know my sister though, but she is really intimidating even to her kids. I mean, she literally had to kind of get mean in the face and let him know that its not ok. I cant say that getting mad is right, but maybe if you can try and catch him in the act of messing his pants and forcing him to the bathroom might help. Or make him clean up his own messy pants so he can see its not fun. Or maybe do what I would probably do and do some SERIOUS rewarding. Maybe have a jar thats "locked" but every time he goes potty he gets 3 peices of m&m's....if he messes his pants, then go get 3 peices of m&m's and throw them away to show him your serious. Nick suggested for McCoy too (wen we get to that point) to get a zip lock bag of candy for every day and through out the day when he poops or pee's take out candy and "throw it away" (or recylcle it for another day) then at the end of the day he can have what remains in the bag depending on how he was during the day. Point being, the better he does on the potty through out the day, the mor candy will be in the zip log by the end of the day..or not if he gets them thrown out cause of accidents! Anyway, I know that one might not work cause of day care and not being home with him....but its a suggestion. I hope my 2 cents helps but really, I think for you, instead of getting mad and frustrated, just look him at him serious and let him know thats it. You dont have to be mean, but you might have to get stern and seirous--and try and leave out the frustrated part....Kinda like when you know your boss is mad or down right NOT JOKING abotu the matter..... I dunno know :) Good luck, dont worry i'll be in your shoes in no time.
Jamey, where do you get the ones that look like boxers? Because I have some that look like regular pullups.
Walmart has them, but I can't remember what their called. Oh another thing we do is when he goes all night without messing his pull-up, is we reward him with something. With him it's a popscicle. I try not to get mad at him cause I know it's something he can't control, but when he does it during the day... that's a different story. I make him take a nap if he goes in his pants cause most of the time it's cause he doesn't want to take time out of his busy schedule to got to the bathroom!!!! I know it's hard!
Hey, it's Cassie, your lovely cousin! :)
I'm no mom, but I do have GREAT advice from the ladies at work who are in the potty training rooms. He needs to start cleaning himself up. He needs to go to the bathroom, take off the dirty clothes clean himself and the clothes up (if it's #2), put them in the dirty basket, and put clean clothes on. He needs to be responsible for the messes he's making. It may seem harsh, but really it's a reality check to them. They now realize that mom isn't gonna clean it up for them. And it's a hard chore for a little man and he probably won't like it. He may not like it enough to stop doing it. Especially when it's on purpose. The wetting the bed is very common, but when he's doing it on purpose, put your foot down and don't be any part of it.
I don't want this to sound mean, ya know, tell him this in loving but firm tones. Let him know through this action that he will be responsible for the mess he makes.
As for the wetting the bed...the only advice I can offer is to not give him any liquids half hour to an hour before bed time. And encourage him to use the bathroom as much as possible (like 3 or 4 times) within that last hour before bedtime.
I hope this is helpful. It's really done wonders at my school in the potty training rooms. :) Good luck!
I have a friend whose little guy was smearing his poop all over the house (so, I guess you can at least be grateful that's not the case for you!).
She received advice from someone to give him cold baths to clean himself off, instead of warm ones. It has worked for her so far.
I think with Cassie's idea combined with this, perhaps you can nip this in the bud!
Good luck with it. Love you, cuz!
Okay, I just have to put my two cents in. I'm not sure if bed wetting is genetic, but you my darling daughter were also a bed wetter. Come to think of it, so was I.........hmmm.
Seriously, I don't know how to answer this (it's been too long ago for me).
After reading what Jamey, Cassie, and Amera have written, I think one or all of their suggestions sounded good.
Oh and just so you know, I also sucked my thumb.
Hi Courtnie--I found your blog through Christie's link--I'm so happy to have found a long lost cousin:o) I love all your sweet stories of your beautiful family.
My son Peter took a while to potty train too-which I don't know was attributed to him being male or my hesitation to commit or me being too soft on my baby--who knows! But he was definitely a lot harder to train than my girls were, but maybe that was because he was the baby and momma's attention was busy with three other little ones--again, who knows! Have patience and persistance and eventually he will move on with growing up--at his own pace that is...!
That said, I've learned a few things--wherever a momma's attention is focused will grow--whether that be tantrums or manners. Cassie's ideas sound good and I've used some of them--especially having them take responsibility for themselves--messes and all. It will help him feel big knowing he's doing it all by himself, and be a natural consequence when he makes a mess versus an attention-getter and time with mom.
Keep trying, that's what matters most!
I love you Court--I'm so glad to have found you:o)
I just wanted to thank everyone for their vote of confidence and great ideas. We are going to try all of them if we have to! Jamey I found the boxers and so far so good with those as far as wetting at night, which is really hard to get mad about. It took some convincing but he thinks they are pajama pants with underwear built in them! Haha! Whatever makes it so Im not doing laundry and bed making daily. Thanks again for the great advice! I will keep updated with the progress...if progress is good anyway!
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